Help!! (Really, I need help)

It's a testament to how frazzled I am that I would use two exclamation points in the title. But that's how much I need help.

As a mother of five children, two of whom are two-year-olds, I try to avoid taking all of them to the store. I really do avoid it like the plague. But sometimes, these things have to be done. When my husband's out of town and we're running out of milk and bananas and bread, these things have to be done.

Last night, such a time happened. And I hemmed and hawed about going or not. I could wait until my husband got home and just hope to not run out of milk before then. I knew that taking all of them to the grocery store could be suicidal.

I've stopped going to most stores with all of them because in recent months, the twins have stopped sitting in carts. At. All. They want to walk by themselves and explore things and be big people. N especially likes to put her little hands in her pockets and strut around like she's big stuff. But I thought the grocery store might still be ok because they have those car carts that the twins love. Usually, I can put both of them in the car cart, and they turn the steering wheel and have a lovely time.

But no more. Last night's trip to the grocery store was horrible, awful, terrible. I should have turned around and walked out a dozen times, but once I started, I just kept going. I thought if I hurried, it would be over faster. And maybe it was over faster, but it was horrifying. Just horrifying. Twins screaming, climbing all over the place, trying to run away—just horrifying.

They won't sit in the twin stroller. I've even tried taking their twin harness thing, but that was just ridiculous. So, if you have twins or even two small children that aren't that far apart, please help. If you have some magic idea that might work to make it less horrifying, please help.

Stronger and stronger

T: Mom, why are fruits and vegetables good for you?
Me: Because they have things called vitamins that help you grow up healthy and strong.
T: Yeah. I'll get stronger and stronger until I'll be able to punch through a wall.

Umm, no, but you gotta admire his dedication. I love that he thinks at some point, he'll get so strong that he'll become a superhero.

My boys enjoy taking photos of themselves doing things they shouldn't. It's nice.

Things that make me smile

—Walking into a room to see A2 and N give each other a kiss. I've also caught them holding hands in the car on occasion. It's nice to see that they actually sometimes like being around each other every minute of every day.

—Hearing T say the other day, "We do lots of fun activities at my school. It's going to be a good day." I almost cried when he said it. I love, love, love that he loves school. It's been such a wonderful surprise to watch him blossom at kindergarten.

—Listening to my husband read The Hobbit to my two older boys. I thought they'd be too young for it, but he was right. They love it.

—Watching A2 discover a love for Star Wars (the characters, not even any of the movies), just like his older brothers and his dad. He woke up the other day and said first thing, "Saber, Mom. Saber." Must be in their blood.

A good bribe goes a long way

With another year of 1–4 church in front of us, I entered January with no small amount of trepidation. But instead of just crying every Sunday after church like I've done for the past three years or so, I decided to be a little proactive.

Bribes and snacks, I thought. That's what I'll do. Bribes for the older kids. Snacks for the twins.

I don't like to use bribes with my kids. At least not bribes that come in the form of candy. Sure, I'll use an upcoming fun activity to get good behavior out of them in the meantime. But I don't like to bribe them with treats on a regular basis. But I also didn't want to continue current cycle of frustration and crying... so, bribery it is.

Every Sunday before church, I present the kids with the treat they can earn. They have to be good—quiet, reverent, and nice to their siblings. There are no second chances. "You either earn it or you don't." The first few weeks, S was the only one to earn the treat, which of course solicited sobs from her brothers, but they learned. Now, they're doing much better. They draw quietly for a while, read the Friend magazine, and earn their treat to eat after church. (They're usually pretty small treats like a miniature Snickers bar or a fun size bag of M&Ms.)

The twins are a different story. They don't understand bribery yet so I've had to use a different tactic. Since sacrament meeting is smack dab in the middle of naptime, it's hard to expect them to sit quietly because they're just so tired. A2 especially gets kind of crazy and unreasonable when he's tired. So, I've resorted to goldfish crackers and fruit snacks. The only problem is that for the past week or so, the second we sit down in a pew, A2 begins hunting for the "nasks" he knows are in my bag. But for the most part, the snacks placate the twins enough so that they play quietly with small toys, look at books, and eat their snacks. N sat still for ten whole minutes yesterday while my husband stroked her little hand. It may have been the longest stretch of time she's sat still (without being strapped into her highchair or carseat) since birth.

The blessings of using bribery and snacks are a relatively quiet sacrament meeting experience and two parents who can actually listen to the talks. Definitely worth it, I say.