Little man no more

I've been thinking lately that with all the drama surrounding N's eating issues, I haven't written much about A2 (formerly little A--this is faster to type) lately. I took the babies to the doc yesterday for their two-month checkup and confirmed what we had already suspected. A2 is "little man" no more. Thanks to the wonderfully fattening properties of formula, he is just a few ounces shy of doubling his birth weight.

From their beginning days in the womb, A2 has been a patient man. At almost every ultrasound we went to, N was taking up more than her fair share of room in there, usually cramping her brother into a corner. At the very last one while I was in labor, she was stretching out all across the top of my uterus, while A2 was in his usual head-down cramped position at the bottom. Since their birth, it seemed like those roles were continuing. N was the more impatient of the two, and we nicknamed her "diva." But in the past few weeks, A2 has become a little more feisty, especially when it comes to eating. He pretty much wants to start eating the moment he wakes up. N is content to look around, coo, and eat her fists. A2 will do that for about 30 seconds, but then he starts fussing. Rather than being impatient, I prefer to think of it as his readiness to get on with things. Once he starts eating, he's all business until the bottle's empty. And his business-like attitude has certainly paid off, as evidenced by his leg rolls, chin rolls, and arm rolls. I can't believe we ever joked about his skinny little chest and his bony arms and legs. Nothing bony about this boy anymore!

N is probably the more social of the two--she cooes and talks a ton. The only problem is she does this the most when you're trying to get her to eat. It's adorable, but I'd rather save these "chats" for when her belly's full, you know? Even if N outdoes her brother in talking, A2 is the smiliest baby I've ever met. Give him a little attention and he will immediately give you an ear-to-ear grin. It melts my heart every time.

N is about a pound behind her brother, but when you eat half as much for two weeks, that's bound to happen. Maybe she'll catch up to him or maybe she'll stay about a pound behind for a while. I don't care so much, as long as she keeps up with her good eating habits. I guess it's better than having a sumo wrestler little girl with a skinny brother, right?

I also wanted to write down a few of my favorite things about the older kids these past two months. For all their loudness and disobedience (I know, shocking!), they have loved their new siblings from the very beginning and continue to dote on them a ton.

S: She has drawn the cutest pictures of her new siblings and always wants to show me how much she can help. She also always seems to know when I need a hug or a special note. When I cried the other day after both A2 and N started puking, she immediately went and wrote me the most precious little note.

H: H is awesome about holding his brother and sister. He's super patient with them, even when they start fussing and crying in his arms. When I ask if he wants me to take the baby, he always says, "No, just give me the pacifier."

T: T is such a big helper, especially when it's just me, him, and the babies. He likes to help me get their bottles ready and get diapers for me. He's also super interested in whether or not they pooped and we have regular discussions about their differences in anatomy during these diaper changes. :)

During my prayers last night, I was thinking about how blessed we really are. We have five happy and healthy kids. We have jobs that pay our bills. We have a great home and we live in a wonderful neighborhood and ward. And even if the material things were to go away, I'm still surrounded every day by my six favorite people in the whole world.

Lastly, a few pics of the two littlest favorite people.

At least we got the pizza

Sometimes I exhibit a few manic characteristics. For instance, when I decide upon something--perhaps an errand or getting something cleaned up in my house--that task must be carried out on my timetable or I get a little upset/testy. A classic example of this happened today.

I had a few coupons I wanted to use at Costco that were about to expire. I had plans for dinner tonight with friends, Thursday was booked up, and the rest of the weekend looked sketchy. If I was going to use the coupons, I needed to do it today after work. A was working later than normal and wasn't coming home anytime soon.

Normal people would have said, "It's not a good idea to take five children--two of them only two months old--to Costco by myself. Oh well. I'll get over it." I am not normal, and therefore, disregarded this notion. I asked S if she thought she could push a cart by herself (with one of the babies in the cart) to leave room to fill up the other cart with purchases. She said she thought she could. I knew we'd be a spectacle, but I decided I didn't care.

We got to Costco and S proceeded to push the 2nd cart through the parking lot. Fifty feet away from the car, she started saying it was too hard and heavy to push. Knowing that to forge ahead would be suicidal, we turned around and went back to the car. But did I give up the adventure? No. I wanted to use those coupons, dangit!

We went back home (10-15 minute drive in traffic) and I grabbed the Snugli carrier. I could carry one baby and keep the other one in the front of the cart! Easy as pie. We drove all the way back to Costco, suited up for the task ahead and did what we needed to do. The babies were good until we were in the line to pay and then both started crying at the same time. And they kept crying as I ordered a pepperoni pizza for dinner. They cried a bit more while we took all our purchases out to the car and picked up the formula the babies can't drink anymore so I could return it. They cried and fussed in the returns line and then fussed a bit more while we waited for the pizza to be done. But we got back out to the car with everyone in one piece and I felt like the adventure had gone as well as could be expected, considering it was totally unnecessary for me to inflict that upon myself.

As I was driving away, I happened to look down in my purse and see the three coupons, still sitting there. "NO!" I yelled. When S asked what was the matter, I told her I had forgotten to use the coupons. She said, "Oh, no! Well, at least we got the pizza."

Indeed. Phew!

You have GOT to be kidding me

Just now while feeding the babies, little A proceeded to spit up buckets and buckets. Yep, you read that right. Not N, but A. What the freak?!! He has NEVER done that before and there was absolutely no warning that it was going to happen. He has happily eating and then just started spewing.

After stripping off his clothes (and half of mine), I had H get me a new towel (we pretty much always feed the babies with a towel at the ready because of N's issues) and we started up again. No more than 30 seconds later, N coughed, gagged, and spewed a bit of her own. I cried and had S get me yet another towel.

Please, please let this be an isolated incident for little A. We are finally getting N's eating issues somewhat under control. I'm not sure I can handle going through this again with her brother (though you can bet I'm asking the doctor for two prescriptions for Prevacid at their 2 month appt. on Thursday, just in case). N still spews about once a day, but at least she's eating most of her bottles without putting up a fight. It usually takes longer than little A, but she gets there.

There's a little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying, "They never had these problems when you were breastfeeding." I know babies can still have reflux when they're breastfed. Both of my sister's breastfed twin boys had reflux. But we never dealt with this until formula entered the picture. I keep silencing the voice by saying that it's because they weren't getting enough to eat to begin with back then, so that's why we're seeing the issues now, but I'm not sure I believe it anymore. I know that quitting breastfeeding was the right answer for everyone, but why, oh why, is nothing ever simple anymore?

I know that parenting in general has challenges, but it just seems like our lives have gotten infinitely more complicated in the past two months. Just when I feel like we've gotten a handle on things, something happens and we take a few steps back. These babies are so precious, sweet, and good-natured. And for the past two days of me working, they've been very well-behaved. But life would be a bit easier if I didn't feel like I was covered in spit-up half the time, and washing the spit-upon clothes the other half.

Thank goodness

Thank goodness my husband wasn't in the car when this happened.
And no, this wasn't the result of an encounter with a psycho rock. Rather, it's what happened when this exploded.

This is a CO2 (carbon dioxide) cartridge that he uses to pump up his bike tires. He's left them in his car plenty of times. The disclaimer even says it should be ok in heat up to 120 degrees. Apparently, it exploded, ricocheted off the windshield, and popped a hole in the upholstery. There was even a ballpoint pen stuck in the passenger seat. I shudder to think what would have happened if he had been driving at the time. So now we just need to replace the windshield!

Top five

My top five favorite things about not working for the past eight weeks:

1. being able to read a book in the middle of the workday

2. being able to clean the bathrooms or vacuum the living room in the middle of the workday (thus leaving Saturdays free for fun stuff)

3. helping H with his reading, writing, and math before he goes to kindergarten every day

4. taking T and the babies to meet my husband at work for lunch

and my most favorite...

5. relaxing on the couch every afternoon while T and the babies snooze away. And then I get to take a nap as well.

My break from working ends on Monday and I will admit that I'm nervous about starting back up again. Thankfully it's only part-time, which with the new demands on my time, is about all I'll be able to handle. Here's to hoping for a good first week back!

P.S. N seems to be eating a little better on the whole, although I never know how much she'll eat at a particular feeding. She might calmly eat four ounces without putting up a fight, or she might eat two ounces and freak out if I try and make her eat more. Yesterday, every other feeding went well, and this morning, she finished her bottle before her brother. Keep your fingers crossed that it continues!

Grasping at straws

N's eating issues from last week have gotten worse. When she started arching her back, refusing to eat more than just a few ounces, and crying like she was in pain when we tried to get her to eat more, we decided it was time to take her to the doctor. The spitting up also got worse, both in terms of frequency and volume. I read a bunch on the web on Wednesday night and really felt like it was reflux, even if she didn't have all the classic symptoms.

I took her in on Thursday and the doc thought it was the formula, not reflux. He gave us a few cans of soy formula. When it wasn't any better the next day I was ready for a prescription, but the nurse said we had to give the soy formula a few days. So, we suffered through the weekend, with N eating only a few ounces at each feeding. Most of the time, she's only upset when we try and get her to eat. She doesn't scream later on or seem like she's in pain from gas. She just won't eat. And if I try and force the issue, she'll just spit everything back up and we have to start over.

Monday morning, I called the doctor's office again and said things were worse. They had me come in for a two-week sample of Prevacid, along with sample cans of Alimentum (uber-expensive formula for fussy babies). The doc said he still didn't think it was reflux. I decided to just try the medicine by itself first so I would know if it was working before trying the new formula.

We had somewhat of a better day yesterday during the day. At one feeding, she actually ate almost all four ounces without putting up a fight. But last night, we had a really tough time getting her to eat much at all. And this morning, she ate less than one ounce and stopped. After trying unsuccessfully to get her to eat more of the soy, I mixed up some of the Alimentum (boy, is it smelly!). She ate a bit of that and then stopped.

*Sigh*

This is becoming so frustrating and sad, especially when compared with her brother's eating habits. He continues to be the champion of eaters, and we're pretty sure he's passed his sister up in weight. I know that if it is reflux, it could take a while to see a difference from the Prevacid. But in the meantime, little N half starves herself and we sit and speculate on what to try next if this doesn't work. And the saddest part about it really is how happy she is otherwise. She'll cry and fuss when I put the bottle in her mouth and then when I take it out, she starts smiling and cooing. She's such a sweet little baby and I just really want to figure out this problem so she'll continue to grow and get fat like her brother. :)

Too cute

These pictures were just too cute to not share. Enjoy!

Frustrations

You know how babies go through phases of not sleeping great for naps? Well, such phases can really become frustrating when it's two babies. For the past several days, both babies have taken pretty crappy naps. They always take daytime naps in their swings, which until now, have worked their magical powers quite beautifully. But now both of them will only sleep for a short period of time and then wake up. I'll get one baby back to sleep, and like clockwork, the other one instantly opens his/her eyes. This process usually continues until it's time to eat again. (Their tagteaming skills are unrivaled, I tell you!) I would love it if they would sleep in their crib during the day, but whenever I've tried, both of them sleep for 30 minutes and then pop their little eyes open. Then I'm stuck trying to get both back to sleep for usually another hour. At least if they're in their swings, it doesn't take quite as long to get them back to sleep.

Their swings have vibrators and even noise machines built in, so I don't think it's background noise waking them up. They're both snuggled up in their awesome swaddling blankets as well. Today I even rolled up blankets next to them so their pacifiers wouldn't come out of their mouths before they had fallen asleep. It may have helped slightly.

The other frustration right now is little N's eating habits. When we first started on formula, she would gulp and gulp, probably due to the fact that she hadn't been getting enough with breastmilk. But in the past week or so, she will eat only a few ounces and then become completely uninterested and usually drift off into a doze. I tickle her jaw, burp her, take off her clothes, and play with her hands and feet. If that doesn't work, I resort to taking a cool wipe and running it over her head, face, and neck to get her to pay attention and stay awake. In the meantime, little A has completely finished eating and is usually starting to get annoyed. He's so business-like about the whole thing. Get in, get the job done, and move on. Barely any spitting up and hardly any burping.

I don't think it has anything to do with the formula itself; I think she just gets bored or decides she feels good with a few ounces, so why continue? I know that if I just let her eat those few ounces and don't push her to eat more, she'd be hungry again in an hour. And I just can't spend all day feeding her. The other problem is if she happens to gulp at the beginning, she may projectile spit up halfway through, just for kicks. *Sigh.*

I really, really hope these eating and napping issues are just short little phases that will work themselves out sooner rather than later. Any advice would be most appreciated!

On a very positive note, both babies have slept for five hours straight for the past two nights. That in itself wouldn't be that out of ordinary, but both times they slept the entire time in their crib. Most nights, I end up with one baby asleep on my chest and one lying next to me. They always start out in the crib, but after putting them both back to sleep two or three times, I give up and bring them in bed with us. To have five hours of sleep without any little people nearby was most glorious. :)

P.S. I did get a picture of little N smiling, but she moved and the pic was blurry.

Shedding the excess

Now that I'm not pregnant anymore, my next goal is to lose the weight that I gained whilst pregnant. I gained about 45 pounds with the twins, which is not at all bad for twins, and is actually 5 pounds less than I gained with T. (When I was pregnant with him, I decided I would eat what I want and not worry about it. Boy, did I pay for that later.) I've lost about 32 of it so far, which leaves me with another 13 that I'd like to lose. I know I shouldn't be so impatient because "they" say that since it takes 9 months to put it on, it will take 9 months to take it off. Blah, blah, blah. I think part of the reason I'm impatient is that before I got pregnant, I actually felt pretty good about where I was, body-wise (minus the stretch marks, of course). I was skinnier than I'd been in a long, long time, but more than that, I was more toned. I had finally found an exercise regimen that was working pretty well and I felt good about my body. With all of the changes that pregnancy/nursing had wreaked on my body, I hadn't been able to say that since before I got pregnant the very first time.

When I was pregnant with the twins, I resolved that I would return to the gym well before the six-week postpartum mark. Then I had the twins and didn't really properly wake up for about a month. Now I'm not quite so bleary-eyed (although getting about the same amount of sleep, so really I've just gotten used to being exhausted) so I decided it was time to return to the gym. But when to go? I used to go early in the morning, around 6:30 or so. Since I'm barely functioning at 8 am these days, early-morning exercise won't be an option for a while yet. I'm not going to take the twins to the gym daycare, so during the day is out as well (plus, I start working again in two weeks, so I'll be busy during the day anyhow). That leaves the evenings. I concluded that the only possibly feasible time would be from between 9-11 pm. Not exactly ideal for getting the maximum benefit from exercising, but oh well.

The first time went fairly well exercise-wise (although I didn't stretch when I got home and paid for it the next day). The babies were pretty well-behaved and dozed most of the time. The second time was tonight. I got the older kids in bed and headed out, telling my husband I would be home before the babies needed to eat again. Little A was asleep and my husband was bouncing little N in the hopes that she'd fall asleep as well. They were both pretty tired, so I thought it would be no problem. An hour later, I come home to find out they'd both been awake and crying the whole time. He hadn't fed them yet because I had told him they wouldn't need to eat until I got home, but he had actually just come upstairs to make bottles because both babies had clearly lost hope. Oops.

Apparently, there's clearly no good time right now to go to the gym. I have one or two exercise DVDs here, but I know from experience that if I don't get out of the house, I'm not going to get off my butt and do anything. It's just my personality, I guess. So, I'll continue to play around with different times of the day and see what works best, hoping the babies don't terrorize my husband while I'm gone. And on the days when a gym trip is completely out of the question, maybe I'll just sit on my exercise ball while I bounce babies and work on toning my core. :)