We are the lucky ones

Last night, I had a bit of a breakdown. We're finally potty training the T-man. If you were thinking that potty training a toddler when you're almost 35 weeks pregnant with twins would be a good idea, you would be very wrong. In our defense, we've been trying for months, but this kid has been so stubborn, so contrary, and so totally against the idea that we didn't want to push it too much. Finally, we told him that when the diapers were gone, they were gone for good. We started off on Tuesday morning, and really, it's going just fine. But my patience level for wet underwear, wet shorts, wet carpet, and poopy underwear is just not all that high right now.

After cleaning up the second poopy underwear of the day right before dinner, I kind of lost it. I didn't freak out or yell, but I really, really wanted to run away. I threw dinner together, ate it, and told my husband I needed to take a drive. Of course, I went to the grocery store to get myself treats. :)

On the way there, I cried and generally felt sorry for myself. No real reason to be so sad, although I have been getting even less sleep than normal lately, which can't be good. And I'm just getting tired of being tired, tired of being in pain, and tired of this huge belly that makes doing anything at all very difficult.

I bought my treats (donuts and chocolate milk, of course) and a few other random things we needed, and found a cashier line to wait in. Then, a little girl walked right up to me and asked me what I was having, boy or girl. When I told her it was twins, she got this look of wonder on her face and said, "You are so lucky! My mom has never had twins." I mumbled something in reply, and hoped she would move soon, since she was a mere three inches away from my belly and it was kind of freaking me out.

Walking out to the car, I cried again. Not a sad cry this time, but because I realized just how lucky we are. Yes, we're a bit embarrassed by our fertility, but it's still wonderful that we get to have twins--and one of each at that. So many people pay thousands of dollars for a chance to have a baby, and we've been blessed with so much. And even though I enjoy very little about being pregnant, my body seems to be made for it. The doctor today was going on and on about how well I'm doing and how the babies are thriving in there.

So, I'm still sore and cranky, and nervous about what the future holds, but I'm going to try a little harder to remember just how lucky we are.

Awesome preggo comment

At Wal-mart on Friday night, the teenage cashier with a cool earring (hereafter referred to as TC w/CE) made perhaps the best preggo comment I've ever heard.

TC w/CE: Boy or girl? (I was so tired that when he said that, I actually thought to myself, "Boy or girl what?")
Me: Oh--it's both. I'm having twins.
TC w/CE: I knew it!
Me: You did not.
TC w/CE: I did so. That is one BIG belly.

Ha! Only a punk teenager could get away with a comment like that. It was great. :)

Update

I was thinking last night that I haven't blogged about this pregnancy nearly enough (ha!) so I should probably post an update on how things are going at almost 33 weeks.

I feel like I'm at odds with my body. My body has birthed three children already, and so thinks that getting things started super early is a good way to go. My body also thinks that because I have two babies in there, they're much too heavy to still be carrying around, so why not get one baby descended into my pelvis and get this show on the road. And let's face it, gravity is clearly not my friend. At this point, I feel like I'm keeping these children inside me by sheer force of will.

Haven't slept well since about February. Around then, I started not being able to breathe deeply when I would lie down. It's not a congestion thing. It's an "I can't seem to get enough air thing." I've tried two pillows and also three pillows. Currently, two pillows works best, but it still takes me about an hour to fall asleep at night and then I wake up every two hours for the normal fun of turning over to the other side and probably getting up to go to the bathroom. And recently, the joys of middle-of-the-night pains/contractions have been added as well. I hate, hate, hate being woken up by scary pains. Nothing sends me into a panic quicker. Once things calm down inside, I'm a nervous wreck and can't go back to sleep, so I go watch a little TV to get sleepy again. (Caught a bit of Mad about You the other night. Love--and miss--that show.) All of this has made me a bit wary of going to sleep. And for someone who dearly loves the feeling of snuggling under blankets and drifting off to sleep, this is a sad development.

I'm trying to rest as much as possible. The kids are getting better at picking things up off the floor, although they still seem confused by why I can't. A has done a great job of cleaning and giving the kids pep talks before he goes to work every morning about helping Mom and not fighting with each other.

My goal is to make it to 36 weeks. Anything after that would be great, but at this point, I just want to avoid NICU time and bring these babies home with us. A week ago, they both weighed around 4 lbs. so at least they're still growing away in there, getting bigger every day.

All in all, things with this pregnancy have gone really well. I know things could have been much scarier and I'm so thankful that I've made it this far, but I guess I start to freak out when I get contractions, weird pains, or feel the overwhelming heaviness of my belly. When that happens, the calm feelings I've had throughout (about the pregnancy, not actually having twins out and about) go away and I'm in full panic mode. When I pray about it (which is very often these days) the feeling comes back, but when everything hurts, it's hard to feel calm.

So, that's the latest from twin central. I'm hanging in there and hope to still be pregnant by the 4th of July!

Nine

Nine years ago today, two kids got married. Whenever I look at this picture, I always marvel at how very young we looked back then.

In honor of our ninth wedding anniversary, I thought I'd share some lesser known facts about my husband, since he doesn't usually fall under my normal blogging categories of "funny/frustrating things my kids do" and "complaining about being pregnant."

1. People who don't know my husband are always super surprised when I tell them that he was voted "Class Clown" in high school, but it's true. Granted, he's pretty quiet if you don't know him well, but once you do, he quickly becomes one of the funniest people you'll ever meet. One of my favorite high school stories is that he decided it would be a super fun idea to tie dye a tux for prom. He bought a powder blue one from a thrift store and tried to dye it. Luckily for his date, the polyester blend didn't take the dye so well, and it just came out looking yucky. So he had to rent a real one.

2. He's color-blind and has crooked pinkies, both of which are genetic traits from his dad. It's a first son in the family thing. Poor A's pinkies have been through the ringer with sports injuries, but let me tell you, crooked pinkies on a little kid are pretty darn cute. When H was born, we immediately looked at his pinkies. Yep, he's all ours.

3. On the color blind issue, it is perhaps my most favorite way to tease my husband. I absolutely love when he asks me the color of something, especially after he's just bought an article of clothing. One Christmas, he bought me a really pretty plum-colored sweater. After I opened it, he leaned over and whispered, "It's purple, right?"

4. I love that he's so passionate about biking. For him, it's not just about fitness or beating previous times, although he does do it for that. He loves connecting with nature, discovering new trails, and being out in the middle of nowhere with just his bike and GPS to get him back to civilization.

5. I'm admitting--for the first time ever--that yes, my husband is a fairly decent writer. He always tells people that he's "the writer in the family," to which I usually add that until he starts getting paid to do it, I'll hold the title. But, I must admit, whether he's writing about biking in the deserts of Moab or waxing poetic about the presidential race, he does have a way with words. I'm still better, though.

6. I love how he plays with our kids, especially the boys. Nothing can get the boys out of a whiny tantrum quicker than wrestling with Dad. And he'll spend tons of time out in the backyard, playing baseball with the boys. He admits that he's not as well-equipped when it comes to dealing with S's tantrums, but she usually enjoys a little wrestling with the boys and Dad every now and then, too.

7. He's an extremely talented filmmaker. Last fall, we went to the premiere of his latest documentary (he served as editor--when people wonder what that means, I tell them he pretty much put the movie together). He had been frustrated with different setbacks to get the movie done and available for purchase. As I sat there and watched it, I started crying. As much as he gets frustrated with the industry and annoyed that he's "only qualified to do one thing," he's really, really good at that one thing. And it would be a big shame if he didn't share that talent.

8. He's very affectionate. There's nothing better after a long day (especially these days) than a hug from my husband. And he's very affectionate with the kids, which I think is wonderful. It sets a great example for my kids to always show your family how much you care.

9. He's a beverage connoisseur. Before I met A, I never realized the full range of tasty (non-alcoholic, of course) beverages that exist: ginger beer, apple beer, different kinds of creme soda, guarana, Izze, Fuze, and the list goes on and on. For Valentine's Day, A usually gets me an assorted collection of chocolate and I get him a lovely array of his favorite drinks. :)

Happy Anniversary, babe!

A baby shower!

Thanks to Gail for throwing me such a fun baby shower (and thanks to Cathy for hosting it). I got such cute things for the babies--it made everything more real to picture actual tiny people wearing them, though! And no, Gail didn't make this awesome cake, but if you ask her, I bet she'd give you the cake lady's contact info. And yes, the shoes are edible. :)

It's a baby shower! (Thanks to Cathy for letting us crowd into the coolest shower ever.)