Can we be friends?

Speaking of friendship, I can't decide how I feel about Facebook. On the one hand, it really is great to re-connect with people I haven't seen in a long time. On the other hand, it can be a little unsettling to re-connect with people I haven't seen in a long time. Will they think I'm just another crazy Mormon with five kids? Will they think I look a lot older than I should?

I realize these are silly and petty concerns, but sometimes Facebook can feel an awful lot like high school (a silly and petty time of my life). Wondering if someone will confirm or ignore my friend request... worrying that the person will look at my name and think, who?... seeing that my sister-in-law has almost 700 friends while I seem to be perpetually holding steady at 150. Add those to the semi-annoying quizzes that are everywhere, and Facebook creeps closer and closer to the side of annoying things in life.

And does anyone else have qualms about what to post for their status updates? If I was being honest with myself (and not trying to be cute because so many people will read it), I could simply pick from a few standard status updates:

Tennille... is tired.
Tennille... wants to run away.
Tennille... is working.

Ok, ok, life isn't all bad, but you get my point. Of course, without Facebook, I might never have known about this wonderful little gem. An acquaintance from high school posted it in her status update one day and I've been laughing ever since. (If you don't appreciate jabs at political figures, then perhaps it isn't for you. Also, remember that I don't write the posts; I just happen to laugh my butt off at them. If you do like it, I highly recommend adding it to your Google Reader feeds. He usually posts a few times a day, and they're always a welcome relief from other mundane chores.)

Fairweather friends

S has had some friend struggles lately—well, with one friend in particular. This girl is what I would call a "fairweather friend." Up until a few days ago, I wouldn't have labeled her a "mean girl", but after hearing a few things she has said to other girls in the class, I might be changing that label.

The situation has been going on for a while now. The friend, who I'll call Melba, sometimes wants to play with S, and sometimes doesn't. They're learning how to write letters in school, and S will often come home with letters from Melba, either saying, "You rock! You're the best friend ever." Or: "I'm so, so sorry about yesterday! I want you to come over and play today." I've had many talks with S about how good friends act, trying to show her that Melba doesn't always fall into that category. But every time, S will say, "But she's not being mean to me anymore!" We even watched the American Girl movie, Chrissa Stands Strong, which is about standing up to mean girls. S learned a lot from the movie, but I still don't think she was willing to connect it directly to Melba.

On the whole, I think S is a very good friend. Of course, I'm not around her at school, but from what I know of her, she makes friends easily and tries her best to include people. (To be fair, there was one time when Melba got mad at S for tattling on her at school. I talked with S about how it's not nice to tattle on others, unless it's something dangerous.)

I still remember an incident years ago when A's cousin and her little girl came to visit. Everyone in the family met up at the pool and S was so excited to see her cousin Aiden. She took Aiden's hand and marched up to the other kids and said, "Everyone, this is Aiden. Does everyone remember her? Let's all play with her." It did my heart so good to see my precious little girl making someone else feel included.

Last Friday, S came home from school in tears. Once again, Melba had shunned her at recess. When she saw S crying on the walk home from school, Melba asked what was wrong. When S told her, Melba turned on her heel and walked the other way.

S was devastated. As she talked and cried, she told me of rather mean things Melba has said to other girls in the class. I explained to her what a "fairweather friend" is, and we talked about sticking up for other girls that get made fun of, and maybe inviting other girls to come along when Melba does decide to be friends. At one point, I expressed that maybe she shouldn't play with Melba anymore. S said, "I won't, Mom!"

It's not that I want S to be mean to anyone, but I worry that as soon as Melba flips the light switch and decides to be nice again, S will run back and forgive everything. This whole situation has made me think a lot about why we (especially women) let other people hurt us; why we let fairweather friends into our lives again and again; and why it's so important to be liked by the cool kids.

I also thought about a boyfriend I had once upon a time who did not appreciate me at all. He would go hot and cold all the time on whether he liked me. Every time he broke up with me, I cried and cried. But a week later, he'd change his mind, and I'd go running back to him. It wasn't until I finally woke up and ended it myself that I was able to walk away from the situation.

I'm so grateful that S does have good friends around her who care about her all the time, not just when she wears a super cute shirt. I'm so glad that I ditched the fairweather friends/boyfriends in my life, and found lasting, wonderful ones who stick with me in all kinds of weather. And it hurts so much that my kids have to learn the same heartbreaking lessons that I did—and all I can do as a mom is give them guidance, a big hug, and hope and pray they'll do the right thing.

Going on a trip—help!

In the not-too-distant future (really, it's approaching rather rapidly), the 'bee family will be going on a trip... on a plane... to Disney World.

It's been quite some time since we traveled as a family by plane.

We haven't gone on any trips at all with our current (and final) number of children. Thank goodness A's family will be there to help us.

The kids are over the moon (of course) about the trip. A and I vacillate between excitement and fear. That's where you, my ten loyal readers, come in. I have several questions and you get to provide your expertise!

We have a portable DVD player, which we will bring, along with various movies to entertain and appease small people. But I need ideas on other fun things to keep the kids (and adults) from climbing the walls of the airplane. All three of the older kids will probably bring their own backpacks to store individual items in. Help me out with any cool—and cheap—items that have helped you out on past trips.

I'm currently rather nervous about weight restrictions on luggage, and the fact that two babies have a lot of stuff they need to travel with. Help me figure out if certain items are really worth packing: umbrella, snacks for the park (to have one less expensive food item to buy—please suggest good ones to take), and jackets for everyone.

We can't decide on whether or not to rent a stroller at D-world ($27 a day for the double stroller, multi-day option) or just take ours. If we have ours, we'll have it in the airport and other non D-world locations, but if we leave ours at home (and carry the babies in snugli carriers in the airport), we'll have one less bulky thing to haul around everywhere. I'm leaning more toward just taking ours, but A is leaning the other way.

And finally, please give me your thoughts (and no judgment, thank you) on giving Benadryl to nine-month old babies. Yes, I would test it out on them before we go. If it doesn't make them zippy, that added aspect of calmness might just save our lives on two long flights.

Thank you, thank you.

At least I'm not THAT scheduled

Start potty training your baby at six months! And don't forget to wear your best dress and curl your hair!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how the scheduled-ness of my life was wearing me out. Then, I read a few excerpts from a baby book (Better Homes and Gardens Baby Book, published first in 1943) and I felt a lot better about my life.

Schedule for Baby Two Months Old

6:00 am to 7:00 am Feeding. Afterwards, Baby may lie in his bassinet in the living room, and may or may not nap.
9:00 am Wheel into bedroom for short nap.
9:30 am Concentrate or one teaspoon fish-liver oil as prescribed. Two to three ounces orange juice.
10:00 am Sun bath on the porch or before an open window. Then Baby sleeps, either on the porch or indoors, depending upon the weather.
1:30 pm to 2:00 pm Feeding. Will probably nap after this.
4:00 pm Outdoors on the porch, in bassinet or in buggy.
5:00 pm Exercise on the big bed.
5:30 pm Can be held or carried about house.
6:00 pm Feeding, followed by bed.
10:00 pm Feeding.


Discuss amongst yourselves.

Tea party

Today, A and I attended a local tax day tea party. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go here. We had hoped to take the kids and make it a family affair, but with rain and snow in the forecast, we decided against it and had A's sister watch them (all five—she's awesome!)

Even though it was very cold and snowed most of the time, there was a great turnout, with families, older people, college kids, and even men in business suits represented. And more than talking about the mistakes of any one political party, most of the speakers talked about returning to the fundamentals of the Constitution, holding our U.S. and state senators/representatives accountable, and standing up for our rights as Americans.

It was a great event, and I'm glad we could be a part of it.

Easter in photos

Cookie Time

It's been well established on this blog that I have a bit of a problem with sweets. Yes, I have a sense of entitlement when it comes to eating treats. And sure, I had a bit of a panic attack when I read a recent article in People magazine about Kathy Ireland's 25 pound weight gain, and realized that her former "sweet tooth habit" sounded an awful lot like my own.

I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I really need to take the time to examine this problem, get to the root of it, and rid my life of this plague.

But not now. Now is cookie time.

Every school year, many fundraisers cross my path. Being a cheapskate, I ignore most. But not the cookie dough fundraiser. I look forward to it every year. March is when the orders come home. April is when the cookie dough arrives.

Peanut butter cup. Snickerdoodle. Chocolate chunk. Triple chocolate.

There is something so magical about just pulling out a tub of dough and putting spoonfuls of it on a pan. Ten minutes later, you have warm and gooey cookies.

Of course, with mini eggs, Starburst jelly beans, and my new favorite Reese's Pieces eggs hidden in the pantry, plus Easter egg hunts this weekend, we're really not hurting for treats at this particular moment.

No matter. Cookie dough stays good in the fridge for six months. Six whole months.

Hooray for cookie time.

Sit down, crazy lady!

For a while now, both babies have been pulling themselves up to a stand, holding onto the stool, the couch, etc. A few weeks ago, we noticed that if we let go of N's hands while she was standing, she could stand on her own for a few seconds.

This morning, she crawled up to the couch, pulled herself up, and let go. She stood on her own for at least a few seconds.

Crazy little baby. Sit down! :)

Six!

I can't believe my little H is six. This morning, I was going through old photos, and marveling at how big my babies have gotten. *Sniff, sniff.*

Six things about our six-year-old boy:

1. He's thoughtful and kind, and almost always willing to share with T.

2. He's an awesome reader. In school, they've started doing spelling tests of simple words. Since H is doing so well with reading and spelling much bigger words, his teacher said that he could pick his own words every week to spell.

3. He continues to amaze me with his math skills. Addition, subtraction, telling time—he's doing great with all of it.

4. He can't wait for t-ball season to start. And even when it's cold outside (as it often is these days), he's out with a ball and bat, trying to convince T to pitch to him.

5. He's a great help with the babies. All H has to do is smile at A2, and that little baby starts giggling.

6. He's really great with his hands. He's into Legos these days, and he makes up his own creations all the time.

We love you H! Happy birthday!

H had a great party yesterday with his friends, and got a ton of cool stuff.



I added this last one of A2, because I just couldn't resist—the bunny ears, the drooling, the ear-splitting grin. Best. picture. ever.

Slave to the schedule

I like organization. I am not a neat freak in the strictest sense, because I do have little piles here and there in my house, but they're usually away from prying eyes.

I also like organization in terms of schedules. Kids thrive on schedules (for the most part), and sometimes, even adults do. Most of the time, I love schedules because they mean I'm getting things done and moving things forward. And that tasks can be neatly checked off in my head when completed.

But lately, the schedules in my life are beginning to wear me out. With morning schedules, evening schedules, and everything in between, I'm so incredibly tired by the end of the day that I can barely keep my eyes open. And yet I still seem to stay up too late, because that's the only time when there are no schedules! Weekends are better because there's no school, but even then, someone still has to feed these little people, right?

I told A that for Mother's Day this year, I want to just lie in bed all morning, without anyone asking me for food, crying because they're ready for a nap, or yelling at their siblings. I don't even need breakfast in bed. Just peace and quiet—and no schedules. I might need to lock my bedroom door... just in case.

Spring is in the air

Though winter has reared its ugly head once again (bleh), we at the 'bee house are not going to be deterred from celebrating Spring.

Happy Spring!

With the preschool Thanksgiving garb on, A2 is excited to celebrate all sorts of holidays.