Friday, August 22, 2008

One month

Tomorrow marks one month since the babies were born. As I said to my husband this morning, "time has lost all meaning." I don't think of time in days anymore, but in terms of how long it's been since they've eaten, how long until they need to eat again, and how much of a nap I can get before they wake up.

One of the very first days they were home--probably the same day of my early morning jaunt with little N in the car--I got an answer to a pretty constant prayer at the time. I remember being exhausted out of my mind and just praying that it would somehow get easier. The answer was not what I wanted to hear, but it was an answer nonetheless. I remember getting a distinct impression that our lives wouldn't get easier anytime soon, but that we would get stronger in our ability to handle our new challenges. And I definitely think that we are getting stronger. Even though my arms ache at the end of every day from holding, carrying, bouncing, and feeding two small babies, I do believe that I'm getting stronger--that our family's getting stronger--with every day that passes. Who knows when we'll fully adjust to being a family of seven (does that ever actually happen?) but we'll continue to take it one feeding, one double crying session, and one day at a time.

7 comments:

Angie said...

I've found most frequently that the adjustments are noticed in retrospect, as in "oh yeah, we began to get the hang of things after X amount of time", but not when you're in the middle of it. And then, sadly, just as I begin to feel like I'm getting the hang of anything, it's usually a signal that the next big thing is a comin'. So, lest something bigger be on the horizon, maybe don't be trying to master this one too quickly, or learn very well how to duck and cover from challenges (and when you learn, tell me!) And in general, baby steps. Be grateful for any better any thing whenever it is and however it lasts. You're doing great! You are stronger and it is getting better. And as for the time thing, I don't think time with children of any ages is ever sorted out normally again. It feels like ridiculously long days, terrifyingly short months and nano-fast years.

kingwritergirl said...

That term, "a family of seven" makes me just shake my head in awe! I've been feeling overwhelemd with three kids lately, and I'm getting at least six hours of sleep a night, at least, without an interupertion, I have nothing to complain about. I wish i knew what I could do to help. S is welcome at our house anytime! Just send her over.

Sabine Berlin said...

For what it is worth, I think you are awesome! That may not help with poppy diapers, or anything, but you are such an inspiration. Good Luck with everything. And send the other kiddos over when ou need a break!

Monica said...

Neelie-

I truly believe you are getting stronger with each day...and man Heavenly Father must know how strong you guys really are to have given you these beautiful kids. It will get easier. Not that the task itself is easier but that your ability to handle the task has grown. And those moments when you don't feel so strong, know that I'm praying for you all the time. I'm still amazed that I have two sisters with twins that were born healthy, because so many of the babies we saw in the NICU were tiny twins with so many issues.

I love you girl!!

Ca

Juliana said...

I'd love to say it gets easier, but I think you're right: you just get stronger! You're now a part of an elite training force for extreme emotional and physical endurance. It's the marathon of life and guess what? You're winning.

Margo said...

I love this post. What an amazing out look on this time in your life. You are amazing. You are growing stronger every day. Thanks for letting us share in your adventure. Love ya...

Anonymous said...

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Taking care of newborn twins is so hard for you.
I have three children (6year-old boy,4year-old boy,2year-old girl)
They are angel, sometimes devil, though...
I'm happy if you link to my site.It is written in Japanese(some of the words are English) but show pictures.
baratch family