So, yeah, it's been a while since I've posted. Oops. I always seem to think of ideas to post and then talk myself out of them.And now my first post in over a month is about digestive issues and all things potty training. Fun!
I started potty training the twins in the beginning of October. N is completely trained, and has been for some time now. She rarely has accidents, and when she does, she gets very depressed and embarrassed.
And in the other corner, we have A2. I've known since he was a newborn that he had digestive issues, specifically redundancies in his colon. As you might imagine, this can make potty training interesting. So, I began adding more fiber to his diet through fruits, veggies, and a fiber supplement for kids to keep things moving. And now, instead of constipation issues, he goes four or five times a day. This would be great if he cared AT ALL about doing it in the toilet. Seriously, my other boys were somewhat apathetic about potty training at the beginning, and even for a while would have an accident and just not care, but I've never seen apathy like this. He really could. not. care. less if he poops in his pull-up, underwear, diaper, you name it. And if he's going to poop in it, why not just pee, too?!
I feel like I've tried so many different tactics and nothing's worked—different treats and prizes, taking away the toy he was playing with if he had an accident, going over and over again what he should do if he thinks he might need to go to the bathroom. Nothing has worked. And I mean nothing. Friends keep telling me that I should try pretending to not care and that he might finally come around, once he thinks it's not a big deal. (You know, the whole, "Stop caring so much cause kids thrive on the reactions they get.") I really am trying, but I have difficulty not caring about cleaning up poop all the time. Right now, I'm just going to really concentrate on not yelling every time it happens.
So, I need help, cause this is really beginning to weigh me down. I know every kid is different and eventually, he'll come around, but I just can't seem to discover how to get there. And my patience for poop ran out a while ago.
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7 comments:
So I forgot to tell you one thing our pediatrician said when we were getting ready to train the twins. He just said that every kid has their "carrot" and that you just have to find it. And it'll be different with each kid. He had one son that it wasn't until he was told he couldn't go on any rides at Disneyland that he finally potty trained himself in 2 days. For his daughter it was dance lessons. So maybe you don't push it until you find his carrot. Focus on figuring out what he REALLY LOVES. And if that doesn't work, take a step back and stop for awhile. I have a good friend whose son is seriously perfect in almost every way. He's super obedient and well mannered. He's very witty and just fun to be around. But he could not get the hang of going in the potty. And she finally gave up for almost a year because it was damaging her relationship with her son. She was so frustrated with him, she was starting not to like him. So if that's starting to happen, I'd say it's not worth it right now. And he's potty-trained now, but she didn't try again until he was almost 4.
I say a big ditto to what Brooke said. And remember ...it is your LAST one and then you will be done forever so take it easy on both of you. And maybe cut back on those fiber supplements :)
Would it be horrible to have him clean up his mess? Maybe it would gross him out that he wouldn't want to do it anymore.
you know I have had my troubles in this area. I completely agree with BT's pediatrician. Nothing worked with some of my sons until I figured out what their button was and once they cared, they were done. If he's going that frequently, perhaps you just set up pooping times to get him in a schedule--in the morning, we sit for a while, after breakfast, we sit for a while, etc etc and just make it part of his routine, so he's not being forced to decide whether to respond to the urge that would take him away from whatever more exciting thing he is doing. that and really non-emotional, natural consequences for the accidents. Bummer, we were going to play at the park, color, have a treat, whatever, but now we have to spend our time cleaning up the mess instead (cleaning up the mess was never a deterrent for my boys, but sitting while I cleaned up the mess was excruciating punishment). And definitely, if things aren't working after all you can do (and that includes praying--I have lifted thousands of excremental prayers heavenward, believe me!), then take a break. Your relationship with A2 is far more important than all the poop in the world.
I have only potty trained one kids, so I am certainly no expert in this area. After numerous failed attempts I finally tried the potty training boot camp book and it worked LIKE A CHARM. I loved it. It was $6, but you can download it instantly. By the end of the second day he was completely trained and I was so grateful!
I forgot to include the link.
http://www.thepottybootcamp.com/
Also, the author gives you her email address so you can email her if you have any questions or difficulties and she will give you some personal advice. She gets back to you really quickly too.
Um, wait? All my friends with experience told me the longer you waited with boys the easier it was. It proved so true. I tried once with Cash and it didn't seem to gel, so I waited until he was seriously like a week from 4 years old and yes, I found his "carrot" and then it took one day. I did the twins at the same time, but they took much much longer. They just have way more control when they're older. Or put the potty in front of the tv and let him just sit and watch tv with no pants on. That helped too. Cash had no interest in sitting in the bathroom all day the first go-around. Boring.
My only advise is to wait. Seriously. Slap that boy back in diapers and don't try again for another few months. All my friends told me to wait as long as possible with boys and it was so true. My girl was potty trained in a few days, but I waited until my boys were around 3 and a half to potty train them. Good luck!
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