It's baseball season once again. In our house, this amounts to many discussions with H about whether or not he'll play. Every year, he drags his feet and says he doesn't want to. And every year, we remind him how much he enjoys playing baseball. He really does love playing it once he gets going. He loves the practices, the games, and wearing the uniform. Last year, he made the all-star team and loved every minute of it.
This year, A and I can't seem to convince H to play. At all. We've talked about it ad nauseum, asked him why he doesn't want to play, and reminded him about all the things he loves about baseball. Nothing. The registration deadline was Sunday, so we finally gave up. Then, I got an email that registration had been extended until Wednesday. Great, but not so great.
This morning, I asked H to finish this sentence: "I don't want to play baseball because ___________." He couldn't do it. A and I strongly suspect that this H's reasons for not wanting to play are part laziness and part fear. He likes to draw and play with his friends and play video games, and maybe doesn't want to have to work hard. Also, H likes to do things that he's good at, and kid pitch baseball is a little more challenging, and makes him a little nervous.
For FHE last night, we talked (coincidentally, actually) about challenges in life and doing things that might make us nervous but end up being great in the long run. I casually threw baseball into the conversation but I don't think he got the message. I don't want H to hate baseball, but I do want him to challenge himself more than he does in normal life. I think it's something everyone needs from time to time.
How far do I push this? At what point do I give up?
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3 comments:
If he really does love it, then sitting out a season may be the best thing for him. He'll see the other kids playing and he won't and that will cure him of the ambivalence forever after. If, on the other hand he just needs a break, he will be happy for the time off and that may cure him of the ambivalence too. But, if not doing it this season makes it harder for him to do it next season, because he gets behind the skill set of his age group, then that's something else to worry about. For me, sports are something to enjoy. If they're not enjoying it, we're not doing it because there's a great deal of family effort involved in the process--more than it's worth if there's no enjoyment. I feel differently about piano, to me it's a life skill, something that will benefit them and those around them their whole lives, so it's a hill I'm willing to die on. There will be piano lessons, there will be practice until a certain skill level is reached. You and A may feel that way about sports. That's what you have to figure out. Good luck!
Hmm...this is a hard one and something we struggle with around here too. I keep wanting to say, "we are a basketball family" ..that's all we do and we gear up for that season and that's it. But Tristan doesn't like basketball and the others would like to try other things too. I haven't come up with any fast and hard rules around here. They go to scouts and that's the only for sure. My kids would try all kinds of things but that is too expensive.
My thought about H is maybe it's the whole starting another season with a whole new group of people. That's nerve racking for adults too.
I would let him sit out this season and play with him on the side and see if he misses it. If he doesn't, maybe not his thing after all. But perhaps you could start him in something new that would be a bit of a challenge.
Again, we don't have the answers around here. We are always changing our minds. I just remember Elder Oaks talk about Good, Better, Best. Sometimes the best thing to do isn't to push it so much but to take a step back, a break, and re-evaluate.
maybe put him in an art class?
If my kids are not wanting to do something that they in general enjoy and like and I suspect its because of laziness/fear/whatever--I stop giving them a say and I decide for them. They hate this, but I have found that its too much unnecessary trouble to keep asking them their opinion when they don't know it themselves and when they tend to like it.
Also he's young. If he misses a season it won't matter.
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