Baseball?

It's baseball season once again. In our house, this amounts to many discussions with H about whether or not he'll play. Every year, he drags his feet and says he doesn't want to. And every year, we remind him how much he enjoys playing baseball. He really does love playing it once he gets going. He loves the practices, the games, and wearing the uniform. Last year, he made the all-star team and loved every minute of it.

This year, A and I can't seem to convince H to play. At all. We've talked about it ad nauseum, asked him why he doesn't want to play, and reminded him about all the things he loves about baseball. Nothing. The registration deadline was Sunday, so we finally gave up. Then, I got an email that registration had been extended until Wednesday. Great, but not so great.

This morning, I asked H to finish this sentence: "I don't want to play baseball because ___________." He couldn't do it. A and I strongly suspect that this H's reasons for not wanting to play are part laziness and part fear. He likes to draw and play with his friends and play video games, and maybe doesn't want to have to work hard. Also, H likes to do things that he's good at, and kid pitch baseball is a little more challenging, and makes him a little nervous.

For FHE last night, we talked (coincidentally, actually) about challenges in life and doing things that might make us nervous but end up being great in the long run. I casually threw baseball into the conversation but I don't think he got the message. I don't want H to hate baseball, but I do want him to challenge himself more than he does in normal life. I think it's something everyone needs from time to time.

How far do I push this? At what point do I give up?

Together

A2 is not the most easygoing kid. He is often very shy, sometimes painfully so. He sometimes has OCD issues and definitely likes things a certain way. This can represent a lot of challenges for me, particularly when I'm in a hurry or trying to deal with the other kids in the family. 

A few weeks ago, as I was dealing with an A2 issue of some kind, I had a thought—a lightning-bolt, revelatory, kind of thought—"The twins came together so N could help A2." The thought almost immediately made me cry (and I'm crying as I write this, actually).

I've always thought it's interesting that the twins are so incredibly different. N is so outgoing (almost to a fault) and A2 is so not. But after I had that revelation, I started to think back on their relationship. It actually wasn't that long ago that most interactions between the two of them ended with N crying because A2 had whacked her with a toy. But that's changed in the past few months. Now, they play together better. They whisper about things and make up games to play. And, A2 opens up more when he's around her. A2 is very suspicious of people he doesn't know, and N says hello to everyone she sees. When they're together, A2 will talk to people, almost as if he's braver when she's around.

I don't pretend to understand how things work in heaven, why some spirits get sent to specific families. I don't fully comprehend why these two little people came to earth together, but I like to think that A2 and N knew they were coming to our family and asked if they could come together. I hope that their relationship will continue to grow and that N will continue to give A2 that little extra boost of confidence that he needs.

Every day I pray

Every morning, I say a prayer before I get up. The prayer varies, but I always pray for patience with my kids, especially on school mornings. I pray that I'll be able to be patient with my kids and start the morning off well.

And then the children wake up.

Or rather, I coax and cajole them out of bed for 15 minutes. Then they take 15 minutes to get ready. They fight with each other, yell at each other, refuse to eat breakfast, forget things upstairs that they need to take to school, and complain when I tell them they actually need to wear coats because it's frigid outside.

Some days, like today, I don't have patience. I yell for them to hurry up, eat faster, leave the twins alone, and just stop fighting!

But some days, I actually do have some patience. I take deep breaths when H tortures A2 about a toy or S and T get into another argument about something that's absolutely not important. I'm able to read morning scriptures without raising my voice because family members are actually within listening distance, rather than spread throughout the house.

Today was not one of those days, but I still pray every morning. For patience. For all of us.

Help!

So, yeah, it's been a while since I've posted. Oops. I always seem to think of ideas to post and then talk myself out of them.And now my first post in over a month is about digestive issues and all things potty training. Fun!

I started potty training the twins in the beginning of October. N is completely trained, and has been for some time now. She rarely has accidents, and when she does, she gets very depressed and embarrassed.

And in the other corner, we have A2. I've known since he was a newborn that he had digestive issues, specifically redundancies in his colon. As you might imagine, this can make potty training interesting. So, I began adding more fiber to his diet through fruits, veggies, and a fiber supplement for kids to keep things moving. And now, instead of constipation issues, he goes four or five times a day. This would be great if he cared AT ALL about doing it in the toilet. Seriously, my other boys were somewhat apathetic about potty training at the beginning, and even for a while would have an accident and just not care, but I've never seen apathy like this. He really could. not. care. less if he poops in his pull-up, underwear, diaper, you name it. And if he's going to poop in it, why not just pee, too?!

I feel like I've tried so many different tactics and nothing's worked—different treats and prizes, taking away the toy he was playing with if he had an accident, going over and over again what he should do if he thinks he might need to go to the bathroom. Nothing has worked. And I mean nothing. Friends keep telling me that I should try pretending to not care and that he might finally come around, once he thinks it's not a big deal. (You know, the whole, "Stop caring so much cause kids thrive on the reactions they get.") I really am trying, but I have difficulty not caring about cleaning up poop all the time. Right now, I'm just going to really concentrate on not yelling every time it happens.

So, I need help, cause this is really beginning to weigh me down. I know every kid is different and eventually, he'll come around, but I just can't seem to discover how to get there. And my patience for poop ran out a while ago.

Happy birthday, S!

Dear S,

I can't believe you're 11! I'm so proud of the girl you've become. You're kind to kids who need a friend, you sincerely try to be fair to everyone, and you're making such great choices. I'm so glad we got the chance to go on our special trip to the Bahamas. I know sometimes it's hard to have your voice heard in a family of seven, so it was great to have some special one-on-one time together. I love you, sweetie!

Love,

Mom

Paradise

Last week, S and I had the grand opportunity to go on a trip to the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas with my in-laws. The top leaders from our company attended, including several granddaughters around S's age.We were there for several days and had a fabulous time going on waterslides, interacting with dolphins, lazing down the lazy river (the longest and best one I've ever seen), eating and eating and eating, and snorkeling in the ocean. It was truly delightful and I'm so thankful to my in-laws for inviting us, and to my husband, who braved it at home with the boys and the twins.