Ok, I know I don't have the authority to actually cancel a holiday, but we've decided to cancel trick-or-treating if our kids don't shape up.
Our children are very intelligent and happy people. They play well with other kids and adults love them. They're helpful around the house (for the most part). But should you happen to tell them they can't do something they'd like to do--oh boy. You could very well be in for a whine session the likes of which you've never before witnessed.
I feel like we've tried a ton of different things to get them to stop whining as much. Endless talks, family home evening lessons about manners and the meaning of respect, talking about what Jesus would want them to do, time out, taking toys away, actually throwing toys away. None of it's worked and the whining has only increased.
Take last night for example. We went to the store for a family treat and each kid picked out one thing. That part went fine. When we ventured over to the Halloween section of the store, things went downhill. We needed to get new trick-or-treating buckets for two of the kids. Since S already had a plain old pumpkin one, I wanted to just get two more pumpkin ones, so no one would have a cool one. Unfortunately, the plain old pumpkin ones are right next to the Spiderman ones. When H found out he couldn't get a cool bucket, he lost it. And I mean, LOST IT. Whining, crying, and actually falling down to the floor. We became those parents--the ones with the bratty kid throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. *Sigh*. A picked him and took him away for a talk, but H continued to talk about the bucket issue (or whine about it, I should say) the rest of our time in the store and all the way home.
Sometimes I just don't get it. It's not like we indulge our kids' every whim. I rarely get them treats at the store-- I mean, really rarely. And they know if they whine, I'll just get more upset, so the logic of the whining completely escapes me. Sometimes I forget I'm dealing with non-logical beings.
Anyway, right before bed, we told them trick-or-treating was cancelled until further notice. We told them we're making up a list of jobs they need to do every day to be able to participate in the holiday. We'll see what the week brings...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
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13 comments:
Oooh harsh!
I like your style, though, trying to get them to appreciate what they have. I worry about this all the time, too. Am I indulging too much? Am I too strict?
The fact that you're setting a strict groundwork will give them security ... in the long run ... I hope.
I commend you for doing the right thing - and feel for you. K1 is our whiner and it drives me CRAZY! And I try to rationalize too - look, if you guys just stop and do the very simple thing that I am asking, you get to have all the fun in the world! I think I never realized that my parents didn't find any satisfaction in taking things away or punishing us. There are so many times I WANT to take them to the fun thing or get them a prize, but they just won't let me! I think the hardest part of parenting, without fail, is the consistency part. So good luck, and know you are not alone! :)
I think we're pretty consistent, for the most part. But the constant whining does tend to break down myresolve, if only so it will stop. Maybe these kids are smarter than we think...
If Halloween is cancelled can I have their candy?
No, because they won't get any candy, silly. And if there's any extra candy in our house, I'M eating it. :)
I'm impressed! I don't know if I would have the resolve to do that, but I hope so. And I love how you wrote about you becoming one of "those people." But, don't tell Mom! I can just imagine her horror if her grandkids don't get to go trick or treating on Halloween. Although, taking away Halloween totally sounds like something Mom would have done with us.
Being "that" parent happens to the best of us at some point...but that doesn't mean it isn't terribly embarrasing for us parents! And if you are perfect and your kids are perfect and it hasn't happened to you...I say just wait.
What? What is whining? My kids NEVER do that. And they are angels in the store. What are you doing wrong?
Something apparently. Please share your secrets with me. :)
Tennille, you crack me up. I hope your kids are doing better now, I think Landry would be so sad if Halloween was cancelled!
They're doing somewhat better. H will do something nice and then ask, "Is that on the list?" Maybe not, kid, but keep on doing it!
I love the idea of cancelling Halloween. We are already pulling out the threat of cancelling all presents for Christmas. My kids know that moms and dads have Santas phone number and we are not afraid to use it. We told them we got the number when they were born. Thanks for the cute story. Good Luck, I think we all feel your pain. It is nice to know that I am not alone.
So, what's the word? Is Halloween cancelled for the rugrats?
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